Part 2: Learning to Cope With Being OLD

 

Earlier this month, you might have seen Part 1 of “Learning to Cope With Being OLD,” which gave light-hearted tips to help you adjust to your newly recognized elderly status. Maintaining that sense of humor lightens an old life, and Lord willing, that won’t diminish when hard decisions arise. So, lighten up even if that means watching reruns of your favorite sit-com. Meanwhile…

 

Rethink Your Appearance

Yes, this can be traumatic! If you’ve loved wearing clothes that are “in” among young adults, be honest. Do they actually make elderly people look older? Ditto if you color your hair to match your youthful hue. Most older adults, male or female, look best with their now-natural color. If that’s too big a shock, color your hair a couple of shades lighter than it once was.

Now about those clothes. Comfy can be cool, even elegant. Denim is ageless, easy to care for, and long-lasting. Some of the best quality can be found in a secondhand shop. (Our one stoplight town has three church-sponsored stores.) Such places also offer a new wardrobe at a ridiculously low price and encourage recycling too. Just make sure every item can be thoroughly washed or sprayed with disinfectant! I even wipe down used book covers with a paper towel lightly soaked in vinegar, though old cloth covers leaked color onto my hand.

 

Volunteer

Most church groups need helpers to sort donated items, print bulletins, write a church newsletter, send cards and calls to shut-in’s, start a prayer chain, plan Christ-centered activities for children, lead or participate in Bible studies, usher, clean pews, and more. (You might even vinegar-wipe those hymnals!)

Perhaps the Lord has given you gifts for singing, painting, planning, counseling, organizing, or praying for people right then. Or you might feel led to be part of a prison ministry, rehab center, nursing home, scout group, or local school. Notice what’s needed, and ask God to show you what and where you’re to be involved. (It’s okay. You can trust God to give you whatever you need for what He’s prepared you for, which won't be a missionary trip to Mars – well, probably.)

 

Learn Something New

Studies have shown that people in (often beyond) their 70’s can learn to play a musical instrument quicker than younger students. Having more time, motivation, and maturity helps. Same goes for those who always meant to write, paint, bake delectable treats, or learn another language. All sorts of subjects can be found online, many for free.

Consider, too, the subjects you didn’t study in high school or college, but wish you had. For example, many of us have learning-gaps in the sciences, but that can be remedied by watching nature shows or videos that explain fundamentals of anatomy, physics, biology, weather, and the environment. For those of us who wish we could identify birds and their calls, universities such as Cornell have online labs with great photos and clear sounds. If you have a local library card, you can access your state library’s website. Or ask your grand-teen who knows almost everything.

 

Dealing with Ill

Aging can bring decline of vital organs, blood vessels, muscles, bones, and tissue, including brain cells, but exercise, ample rest, pure water, and nutrition can slow the process. Again, finding things to laugh about helps, although incontinence is seldom funny. (Actually, there's that time we laughed so hard....)

As a general rule, the closer meals and snacks are to nature, the better. And, when it comes to physical movement, easing into exercise works far better at this point in life than the adage, “no pain. No gain.” Remember: Strengthening balance and mobility are the goals, not bulging muscles or a gorgeous figure. (Do I have to tell you how ridiculous that late-seventies woman looks with her tight clothes and elevator lift-up bra?)

If you ever have a chronic condition or an illness that worsens, accept help from those who offer. If no one offers, don’t pout! Ask them! In the King James Bible, James 5:14 says, “Is any sick among you? let him call for the elders of the church; and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord.” Did you notice? The Bible does not ask the church to read you mind. It tells those who are ill to notify church friends or staff themselves or get someone to call for you. Just don’t complain about no one caring when you don’t care enough about yourself to let them know you need them. Pride isn’t an excuse, but something to confess!

God forbid, but if you have trouble taking care of your basic needs, call Hospice for help. If you’re a former vet, also call the V.A. Your area might have other help organizations ready to assist, so check out all possibilities, including assisted living and residences. Our small area even has a free-assist number for the local fire department to send out trained pros to help you up and check you out if you fall. Many of those volunteers are good-looking males and females, so flirt if you must, but too much, and they’ll start to suspect you fell on purpose!

 

Prepare, prepare

Most of us don’t particularly want to think about our mortality, but death happens, so we might as well prepare for the inevitable. Not only does this give you peace about your ongoing wishes, but it saves your loved ones from having to make arrangements when they’re already stressed with grief (which they better be, right?)

A visit to a local, reputable funeral home will answer your questions and help you decide what’s best for you. If you choose burial over cremation, you can even pick out your coffin in your favorite color. (My lifelong friend picked pink, but you most likely won’t find red – well, maybe for a posh velvet interior.)

Another point is to start paying ahead since you can expect prices of plots and preferences to rise. If you have a big, fat insurance policy, you might elect to forego spending your current monies, assuming you trust your heirs to spend it first on your plot and service instead of that new car or trip to Ireland they want.) Regardless, find a knowledgeable attorney to set up a will and assure your loved ones, church, and other charitable organizations you believe in, to receive what you want them to have – or not. Also, be sure to save a file of this info on your computer or Cloud, and let someone who can’t possibly change anything know where to find those documents.

 

Get Closer to Your Family and Friends

If you’re estranged from a loved one, ask God to help you take the first step toward reconciliation. Make amends, preferably in person, but if that does not work, send a thinking-of-you card every now and then. And if that offers no response, write a keep-it-kind letter to be given to them after you’re no longer around.

The friends and family you stay in touch with will undoubtedly welcome your thanks for any assistance or thoughtful gesture they give you. Saying, “I appreciate you,” and, “I love you,” means a lot to almost everyone on earth. And in heaven….

 

Center God More Fully in Your Life

The Lord welcomes your thoughts, praise, and thanks too. Take to heart, mind, and spirit what God says in the Bible. Focus on His promises and words of love. Whether or not, your earthly parents were trustworthy or loving doesn’t matter now if you’ve forgiven them as biblically commanded. Remember, that’s not a feeling, but a choice to obey God.

When you think of the Lord as your loving, perfect, holy Father, Who wants only His best for His children, you begin to see God and other people in a more loving, wholesome light. As John 3:16-17 remind us, “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever should believe in Him will have life everlasting. For Christ did not come into the world to condemn the world, but that, through Him, the world might be saved.”

Accepting Christ as your Lord and savior “qualifies” you for a heavenly hereafter and a much-much better now! With the guidance of the Holy Spirit, you can be sure your plans will align with God’s will, so you can focus on your job “To Be.”

Be free of fears and resentments and anything that festers. Be free to enjoy life and become the person God intended. Be free to laugh, cry, and express yourself. Be free to tell everyone about God’s love and forgiveness. This state of being is not at all like those earlier stages of striving and constantly doing. “Being” is like floating on your back in the water with no one around to splash you in the face.

No matter what happens, let Romans 8:28 assure you that God knows what you need and what He’s doing. Read 1 John 4 over and over, letting it sink deep into your spirit. As 1 Timothy 2:3-4 promises, “God our Savior wants all people to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth.”

May the Lord help us to receive that hope and all His good gifts in Jesus’ Name. Amen.

  

Mary Harwell Sayler, an elder

 

 

 

 

Part 1: Learning to Cope With Being OLD

 

Thanks for sharing this journey into aging. Let's begin by saying, "Old and age are not four-letter words." (Repeat that four times.)

 

If anything in this post makes you smile, excellent! (Yes, one corner-up counts.) Notice that people who reach very old age often laugh lot. That’s the Preface in adjusting to the idea of being elderly, but there’s more to learn. Much more….

Prepare to Be Slow

If you’re used to moving along at a clip or turning sharply on the proverbial dime, stop! Your typical adult-life pace will eventually topple you over or blow a spinal disc or throw your knees out or all of the above.

Expect to Be Clumsy, well, sometimes

Get a thermos-like bottle with a fold-up-and-down thingy to sip through. Take this with you wherever you go, even if you think you’re sitting safely, watching TV with a snack. Otherwise, when you grab the remote to change that terrible show you never meant to watch, the chances of knocking over a drink increase with each year-alive. If you’re super tired, careless, or a natural klutz, those odds double. No judgment, just an observation (or expectation.)

 

Curb Your Pride and Buy a Cane if You’re Apt to Be Tipsy (unless you had too much to drink, and then it won’t hold you up but might tempt you to whack somebody.)

If you’re having balance issues, get a cane with four-toes for steadiness. If yours didn’t come with that feature, measure the cane's diameter and order one online. Better yet, buy a more sure-footed cane in your favorite color.

 

Find a Hobby You Enjoy that Requires Movement

No, playing Bridge to exercise your wrists doesn’t count. Remember, all activities aren’t rivalries. But don’t be surprised if someone older than you beats you at pickle-ball.

 

If You Need Help, Ask

Face it. Getting old is no time to be full of yourself. Pride, at this stage, is even more likely to go before a fall. If you’ve always been the person who likes to help others, move over! Give someone else a chance to feel good about helping.

 

Expect Sleep Patterns to Change

Besides getting up a dozen times a night to head to the head, you might find worries, schedules, or memories flooding in, right when you wanted to forget everything and go to sleep. (As an expert on the subject, I’m writing this at 5 a.m. after an hour or two of naps.) Pain often keeps us awake too. And so does too much stimulation too late, so end your evening with something boring.

 

Stop Saving Pretty Much Anything for a Special Occasion

Being God’s child is special, and so is being alive! If you have something nice, enjoy it. Use that sterling silver flatware you're prepared to polish. Wear that pricey silk tie you bought on a whim. Toss your grandmother’s hand-embroidered cloth over the table and don’t serve anything that stains.

 

Scale Down

Ask your kids, grands, and other relatives (in that order) if there’s something of yours they would enjoy having. Otherwise, if you don’t need it, don’t use it, or don’t like it, give it away.  In our one-stoplight town, three churches have secondhand shops with other charitable organizations close enough to haul stuff. 

 

Take Care of Your Eyes

Aging eyes often need cataract surgery, which is not a big deal for most people (unless you’re a big crybaby) but shouldn’t be done too soon or too late. i.e., Too soon increases the likelihood of having to do it again. Too late creates a gummy-bear film. Just right can usually be determined if you glance at a light and see a blue ring – not to be confused with the blue light special.

 

Take Care of All Body Parts, Seen or Unseen

Keep up checkups with your dentist, doctor, and shoe salesperson. Yes, feet do change sizes, especially if your weight goes up or down. If you feel like Big-Foot and someone dares to ask your size, simply lie if you still care more about what other people think than who you or they truly are.

 

Care More and More What God Thinks

Read the Bible in several translations. (No, King James will not be mad, but I don’t know about Shakespeare.) Follow online devotionals. Buy devotional books to read every morning or evening or both. Keep instrumental Christian hymns playing throughout the day. (I found many on You-Tube. My favorites include the lyrics, so I can sing along without resorting to La-La-La.)

 

Pray 

Pray for your family. Pray for your church and all of God’s people around the world. (Okay. Be inclusive. Pray for anyone and everyone you really, really, really do not like.) 

Speak God’s promises over the news. Pray for leaders everywhere. Pray WITH people who need immediate prayer even if they happen to be in the next stall of a public restroom. 

Pray for yourself. Pray, pray, pray for God to guide and strengthen you. Pray to see God’s view and express your forever joy in Jesus’ Name.

 

Mary Sayler

P.S. Part 2 might look more serious. Regardless, if you have a tip to share or question to ask, please do in the Comment below. Thanks and blessings.

 

 

Corona goes viral! What to do.

If you’ve been hearing about the Corona Virus, you’ve been bombarded with precautions such as: Stay home. Wash your hands with soap for at least 20 second every time you have been out. Sit and stand several feet away from other people. Avoid hugs and hand-shakes. Cough into a tissue – things I hope you’ve already been doing anytime anything is “going around.”

We who love God also count on the Lord to protect us, and certainly, our faith will overcome fear. But that doesn’t mean faith wipes out good sense! On the contrary, believers in God do well to investigate what our Creator has placed in nature that will boost health now - physically, mentally, and spiritually.

Physically

Vitamin C in reasonable amounts will help to protect your immune system. However, too much can send you running to the bathroom where, oh no! You might not have toilet paper! (Hmm. For that, God made big leaves, right?)

Echinacea is a natural herb with antiviral properties. Its “dirty sock” smell and earthy flavor keep us from downing it like candy, which means it’s not to be taken like a bag of potato chips or chocolate squares. The trouble is, this herb works in the mouth, not the stomach, so instead of swallowing an Echinacea capsule, open it and dump the contents into a honey-sweetened cup of tea.

Low humidity dries out body cells, making mucous membranes less able to filter out dust, pollen, and germs. Besides drinking lots and lots of clean water, use a humidifier. Or put water on the stove to boil, then add a few drops of cinnamon oil or eucalyptus or peppermint.

Find something to laugh about – the more belly involved the better. Listen to soothing music. Sing. Dance around to get your blood and those happy endorphins circling.

Mentally

Focusing on fear gives whatever we’re afraid of power over us as fear becomes the focal point of our lives. We can’t always control our feelings, but we can change the subject of our thoughts.

Instead of panic, choose faith over fear. (Yep, it’s a decision! Do we trust God or not?)

Read Psalms, Bible prayers, and poetry to stimulate faith.

Journal. Paint a picture. Color with crayons.

Relax. Watch the sun set. Get ample rest.

Spiritually

Constant worry puts the body into a fight or flight mode. Every time you start to worry about something, pray about it instead.

Look up “faith” in a Bible concordance. Find verses that speak to you and claim them for your own. (For me, for instance, it’s Romans 8:28 and John 3:17.)

Pray the Lord’s Prayer aka Our Father as though it were an outline for praying. As you say each phrase, let God bring to mind the people or situations for whom you’re to pray. For example, “Give ___ today the bread needed to feed their family.” Or, “Lead us not into the temptation to give in to our fears.” Or, “Deliver us, Lord, from the evil of faithlessness, greed, and hardened hearts.”

Count your blessings. Thank God for each gift. Praise God as The One to Trust – The One Who Wills to work for your good, no matter how scary things seem.

Mary Harwell Sayler, ©2020.

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