Earlier this month, you might have seen Part 1 of “Learning to Cope With Being OLD,” which gave light-hearted tips to help you adjust to your newly recognized elderly status. Maintaining that sense of humor lightens an old life, and Lord willing, that won’t diminish when hard decisions arise. So, lighten up even if that means watching reruns of your favorite sit-com. Meanwhile…
Rethink Your Appearance
Yes, this can be traumatic! If you’ve loved wearing clothes that are “in” among young adults, be honest. Do they actually make elderly people look older? Ditto if you color your hair to match your youthful hue. Most older adults, male or female, look best with their now-natural color. If that’s too big a shock, color your hair a couple of shades lighter than it once was.
Now about those clothes. Comfy can be cool, even elegant. Denim is ageless, easy to care for, and long-lasting. Some of the best quality can be found in a secondhand shop. (Our one stoplight town has three church-sponsored stores.) Such places also offer a new wardrobe at a ridiculously low price and encourage recycling too. Just make sure every item can be thoroughly washed or sprayed with disinfectant! I even wipe down used book covers with a paper towel lightly soaked in vinegar, though old cloth covers leaked color onto my hand.
Volunteer
Most church groups need helpers to sort donated items, print bulletins, write a church newsletter, send cards and calls to shut-in’s, start a prayer chain, plan Christ-centered activities for children, lead or participate in Bible studies, usher, clean pews, and more. (You might even vinegar-wipe those hymnals!)
Perhaps the Lord has given you gifts for singing, painting, planning, counseling, organizing, or praying for people right then. Or you might feel led to be part of a prison ministry, rehab center, nursing home, scout group, or local school. Notice what’s needed, and ask God to show you what and where you’re to be involved. (It’s okay. You can trust God to give you whatever you need for what He’s prepared you for, which won't be a missionary trip to Mars – well, probably.)
Learn Something New
Studies have shown that people in (often beyond) their 70’s can learn to play a musical instrument quicker than younger students. Having more time, motivation, and maturity helps. Same goes for those who always meant to write, paint, bake delectable treats, or learn another language. All sorts of subjects can be found online, many for free.
Consider, too, the subjects you didn’t study in high school or college, but wish you had. For example, many of us have learning-gaps in the sciences, but that can be remedied by watching nature shows or videos that explain fundamentals of anatomy, physics, biology, weather, and the environment. For those of us who wish we could identify birds and their calls, universities such as Cornell have online labs with great photos and clear sounds. If you have a local library card, you can access your state library’s website. Or ask your grand-teen who knows almost everything.
Dealing with Ill
Aging can bring decline of vital organs, blood vessels, muscles, bones, and tissue, including brain cells, but exercise, ample rest, pure water, and nutrition can slow the process. Again, finding things to laugh about helps, although incontinence is seldom funny. (Actually, there's that time we laughed so hard....)
As a general rule, the closer meals and snacks are to nature, the better. And, when it comes to physical movement, easing into exercise works far better at this point in life than the adage, “no pain. No gain.” Remember: Strengthening balance and mobility are the goals, not bulging muscles or a gorgeous figure. (Do I have to tell you how ridiculous that late-seventies woman looks with her tight clothes and elevator lift-up bra?)
If you ever have a chronic condition or an illness that worsens, accept help from those who offer. If no one offers, don’t pout! Ask them! In the King James Bible, James 5:14 says, “Is any sick among you? let him call for the elders of the church; and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord.” Did you notice? The Bible does not ask the church to read you mind. It tells those who are ill to notify church friends or staff themselves or get someone to call for you. Just don’t complain about no one caring when you don’t care enough about yourself to let them know you need them. Pride isn’t an excuse, but something to confess!
God forbid, but if you have trouble taking care of your basic needs, call Hospice for help. If you’re a former vet, also call the V.A. Your area might have other help organizations ready to assist, so check out all possibilities, including assisted living and residences. Our small area even has a free-assist number for the local fire department to send out trained pros to help you up and check you out if you fall. Many of those volunteers are good-looking males and females, so flirt if you must, but too much, and they’ll start to suspect you fell on purpose!
Prepare, prepare
Most of us don’t particularly want to think about our mortality, but death happens, so we might as well prepare for the inevitable. Not only does this give you peace about your ongoing wishes, but it saves your loved ones from having to make arrangements when they’re already stressed with grief (which they better be, right?)
A visit to a local, reputable funeral home will answer your questions and help you decide what’s best for you. If you choose burial over cremation, you can even pick out your coffin in your favorite color. (My lifelong friend picked pink, but you most likely won’t find red – well, maybe for a posh velvet interior.)
Another point is to start paying ahead since you can expect prices of plots and preferences to rise. If you have a big, fat insurance policy, you might elect to forego spending your current monies, assuming you trust your heirs to spend it first on your plot and service instead of that new car or trip to Ireland they want.) Regardless, find a knowledgeable attorney to set up a will and assure your loved ones, church, and other charitable organizations you believe in, to receive what you want them to have – or not. Also, be sure to save a file of this info on your computer or Cloud, and let someone who can’t possibly change anything know where to find those documents.
Get Closer to Your Family and Friends
If you’re estranged from a loved one, ask God to help you take the first step toward reconciliation. Make amends, preferably in person, but if that does not work, send a thinking-of-you card every now and then. And if that offers no response, write a keep-it-kind letter to be given to them after you’re no longer around.
The friends and family you stay in touch with will undoubtedly welcome your thanks for any assistance or thoughtful gesture they give you. Saying, “I appreciate you,” and, “I love you,” means a lot to almost everyone on earth. And in heaven….
Center God More Fully in Your Life
The Lord welcomes your thoughts, praise, and thanks too. Take to heart, mind, and spirit what God says in the Bible. Focus on His promises and words of love. Whether or not, your earthly parents were trustworthy or loving doesn’t matter now if you’ve forgiven them as biblically commanded. Remember, that’s not a feeling, but a choice to obey God.
When you think of the Lord as your loving, perfect, holy Father, Who wants only His best for His children, you begin to see God and other people in a more loving, wholesome light. As John 3:16-17 remind us, “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever should believe in Him will have life everlasting. For Christ did not come into the world to condemn the world, but that, through Him, the world might be saved.”
Accepting Christ as your Lord and savior “qualifies” you for a heavenly hereafter and a much-much better now! With the guidance of the Holy Spirit, you can be sure your plans will align with God’s will, so you can focus on your job “To Be.”
Be free of fears and resentments and anything that festers. Be free to enjoy life and become the person God intended. Be free to laugh, cry, and express yourself. Be free to tell everyone about God’s love and forgiveness. This state of being is not at all like those earlier stages of striving and constantly doing. “Being” is like floating on your back in the water with no one around to splash you in the face.
No matter what happens, let Romans 8:28 assure you that God knows what you need and what He’s doing. Read 1 John 4 over and over, letting it sink deep into your spirit. As 1 Timothy 2:3-4 promises, “God our Savior wants all people to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth.”
May the Lord help us to receive that hope and all His good gifts in Jesus’ Name. Amen.
Mary Harwell Sayler, an elder
