Part 2: Learning to Cope With Being OLD

 

Earlier this month, you might have seen Part 1 of “Learning to Cope With Being OLD,” which gave light-hearted tips to help you adjust to your newly recognized elderly status. Maintaining that sense of humor lightens an old life, and Lord willing, that won’t diminish when hard decisions arise. So, lighten up even if that means watching reruns of your favorite sit-com. Meanwhile…

 

Rethink Your Appearance

Yes, this can be traumatic! If you’ve loved wearing clothes that are “in” among young adults, be honest. Do they actually make elderly people look older? Ditto if you color your hair to match your youthful hue. Most older adults, male or female, look best with their now-natural color. If that’s too big a shock, color your hair a couple of shades lighter than it once was.

Now about those clothes. Comfy can be cool, even elegant. Denim is ageless, easy to care for, and long-lasting. Some of the best quality can be found in a secondhand shop. (Our one stoplight town has three church-sponsored stores.) Such places also offer a new wardrobe at a ridiculously low price and encourage recycling too. Just make sure every item can be thoroughly washed or sprayed with disinfectant! I even wipe down used book covers with a paper towel lightly soaked in vinegar, though old cloth covers leaked color onto my hand.

 

Volunteer

Most church groups need helpers to sort donated items, print bulletins, write a church newsletter, send cards and calls to shut-in’s, start a prayer chain, plan Christ-centered activities for children, lead or participate in Bible studies, usher, clean pews, and more. (You might even vinegar-wipe those hymnals!)

Perhaps the Lord has given you gifts for singing, painting, planning, counseling, organizing, or praying for people right then. Or you might feel led to be part of a prison ministry, rehab center, nursing home, scout group, or local school. Notice what’s needed, and ask God to show you what and where you’re to be involved. (It’s okay. You can trust God to give you whatever you need for what He’s prepared you for, which won't be a missionary trip to Mars – well, probably.)

 

Learn Something New

Studies have shown that people in (often beyond) their 70’s can learn to play a musical instrument quicker than younger students. Having more time, motivation, and maturity helps. Same goes for those who always meant to write, paint, bake delectable treats, or learn another language. All sorts of subjects can be found online, many for free.

Consider, too, the subjects you didn’t study in high school or college, but wish you had. For example, many of us have learning-gaps in the sciences, but that can be remedied by watching nature shows or videos that explain fundamentals of anatomy, physics, biology, weather, and the environment. For those of us who wish we could identify birds and their calls, universities such as Cornell have online labs with great photos and clear sounds. If you have a local library card, you can access your state library’s website. Or ask your grand-teen who knows almost everything.

 

Dealing with Ill

Aging can bring decline of vital organs, blood vessels, muscles, bones, and tissue, including brain cells, but exercise, ample rest, pure water, and nutrition can slow the process. Again, finding things to laugh about helps, although incontinence is seldom funny. (Actually, there's that time we laughed so hard....)

As a general rule, the closer meals and snacks are to nature, the better. And, when it comes to physical movement, easing into exercise works far better at this point in life than the adage, “no pain. No gain.” Remember: Strengthening balance and mobility are the goals, not bulging muscles or a gorgeous figure. (Do I have to tell you how ridiculous that late-seventies woman looks with her tight clothes and elevator lift-up bra?)

If you ever have a chronic condition or an illness that worsens, accept help from those who offer. If no one offers, don’t pout! Ask them! In the King James Bible, James 5:14 says, “Is any sick among you? let him call for the elders of the church; and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord.” Did you notice? The Bible does not ask the church to read you mind. It tells those who are ill to notify church friends or staff themselves or get someone to call for you. Just don’t complain about no one caring when you don’t care enough about yourself to let them know you need them. Pride isn’t an excuse, but something to confess!

God forbid, but if you have trouble taking care of your basic needs, call Hospice for help. If you’re a former vet, also call the V.A. Your area might have other help organizations ready to assist, so check out all possibilities, including assisted living and residences. Our small area even has a free-assist number for the local fire department to send out trained pros to help you up and check you out if you fall. Many of those volunteers are good-looking males and females, so flirt if you must, but too much, and they’ll start to suspect you fell on purpose!

 

Prepare, prepare

Most of us don’t particularly want to think about our mortality, but death happens, so we might as well prepare for the inevitable. Not only does this give you peace about your ongoing wishes, but it saves your loved ones from having to make arrangements when they’re already stressed with grief (which they better be, right?)

A visit to a local, reputable funeral home will answer your questions and help you decide what’s best for you. If you choose burial over cremation, you can even pick out your coffin in your favorite color. (My lifelong friend picked pink, but you most likely won’t find red – well, maybe for a posh velvet interior.)

Another point is to start paying ahead since you can expect prices of plots and preferences to rise. If you have a big, fat insurance policy, you might elect to forego spending your current monies, assuming you trust your heirs to spend it first on your plot and service instead of that new car or trip to Ireland they want.) Regardless, find a knowledgeable attorney to set up a will and assure your loved ones, church, and other charitable organizations you believe in, to receive what you want them to have – or not. Also, be sure to save a file of this info on your computer or Cloud, and let someone who can’t possibly change anything know where to find those documents.

 

Get Closer to Your Family and Friends

If you’re estranged from a loved one, ask God to help you take the first step toward reconciliation. Make amends, preferably in person, but if that does not work, send a thinking-of-you card every now and then. And if that offers no response, write a keep-it-kind letter to be given to them after you’re no longer around.

The friends and family you stay in touch with will undoubtedly welcome your thanks for any assistance or thoughtful gesture they give you. Saying, “I appreciate you,” and, “I love you,” means a lot to almost everyone on earth. And in heaven….

 

Center God More Fully in Your Life

The Lord welcomes your thoughts, praise, and thanks too. Take to heart, mind, and spirit what God says in the Bible. Focus on His promises and words of love. Whether or not, your earthly parents were trustworthy or loving doesn’t matter now if you’ve forgiven them as biblically commanded. Remember, that’s not a feeling, but a choice to obey God.

When you think of the Lord as your loving, perfect, holy Father, Who wants only His best for His children, you begin to see God and other people in a more loving, wholesome light. As John 3:16-17 remind us, “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever should believe in Him will have life everlasting. For Christ did not come into the world to condemn the world, but that, through Him, the world might be saved.”

Accepting Christ as your Lord and savior “qualifies” you for a heavenly hereafter and a much-much better now! With the guidance of the Holy Spirit, you can be sure your plans will align with God’s will, so you can focus on your job “To Be.”

Be free of fears and resentments and anything that festers. Be free to enjoy life and become the person God intended. Be free to laugh, cry, and express yourself. Be free to tell everyone about God’s love and forgiveness. This state of being is not at all like those earlier stages of striving and constantly doing. “Being” is like floating on your back in the water with no one around to splash you in the face.

No matter what happens, let Romans 8:28 assure you that God knows what you need and what He’s doing. Read 1 John 4 over and over, letting it sink deep into your spirit. As 1 Timothy 2:3-4 promises, “God our Savior wants all people to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth.”

May the Lord help us to receive that hope and all His good gifts in Jesus’ Name. Amen.

  

Mary Harwell Sayler, an elder

 

 

 

 

How do Christian poets and writers get prepared to write?

Recently I asked members of our Christian Poets & Writers group on Facebook how they go about preparing for the writing God has given them to do, and within a week or so, we had the following responses collected here for you to read and recollect as needed:

QUESTION: How do you prepare for the writing God has called you to do?

Henry: (I) pray and listen for the direction to go, then do the research necessary.

Jaime: Sometimes I start by arguing with Him honestly. A lot of times God asks me to write things that are very uncomfortable for me, but I think my arguing or questioning opens the dialogue for God to show me why I need to write what He tells me to. I also spend a lot of quiet time really thinking through whatever the topic is then making sure it's covered from all angles.

Nellie: Two words: Pray and Listen.

Sharon: I pray and take time to listen before I write anything. I often consult with others and listen to their words, knowing He is guiding that too. Over the years I am learning the importance of writing over (revising) a piece.

Joy: (I) pray and write my heart out!

Danielle: (I) pray and read the Word.

Karin: I study the Bible and pray. I also listen to what others have to say, conversations that give me a clue as to what people are dealing with and going through.

Cathy: Same as above, pray, listen, write, rewrite. And read!

Art and Teresa: I start reading and writing down every thought that comes to mind. Pretty soon a bunch of fragmented thoughts come together to form a theme. With prayer and searching out scriptures related to the theme, a message forms.

Mary Ann: I read Psalms, think on them, and write.

Dawn: I pray and ask God for wisdom and inspiration. When I have a direction on what I'm going to write, I research the subject. Then I do an outline and start writing.

Bill: I pray, and then if nothing pulls at my heart strings within thirty seconds, I'm tempted to start smacking myself in the noggin with a frying pan! (But) I sit still for awhile. Then I start writing.

Patti: (After praying, thinking, researching, talking) the biggest prep I could make would be to get my rear in that chair and begin again!

Terry: Listening to Him...

Stacey: Prayer, the Word, and sitting still to hear and receive. I then put my fingers to the keyboard and let the Holy Spirit take over.

Lindabelle: (I) seek God in earnest prayer, then write whatever He puts in my mind and heart. (I’m) praying my stories will inspire and encourage those who read them.

Rebecca: Be diligent to keep writing time as a holy commitment.

Neil: I have gotten adamant about writing down every idea, title, or phrase that comes to mind, saving it for future development. No more mental notes! I've found those are written in disappearing ink. As quickly as an idea slips into my mind, it slips out again. I've said, "Oh, I'll remember later," then I promptly forgot!

Mary Ann: I know what you mean, Neil; my mental notes disappear too. I'm learning now to jot down in a journal.

Neil: Also, I've begun praying for the ones who will need to hear what I'm writing to meet a need or provide direction in their lives. I don't know the needs or the individuals, but God does. So, instead of assuming that people will come across it randomly and benefit, or “if you write it, they will come," I'm praying for the ones it is for, even before putting pen to paper, and asking God to guide my thoughts to meet the needs of specific people He knows who will read it a year or two from now. It's an “only God" thing: only God could do it!

Linda: I keep it a priority to open my head to the inspirations of the Holy Spirit and work them ASAP. That might mean hopping out of bed to work all the way through a new hymn text, or just jotting down a few phrases for future development. Everything He gives me goes into a PC file, so it doesn't get forgotten. Then I rely on the Holy Spirit to direct which piece to work on and where/when to submit or publish. Meanwhile, I prepare technically by studying craft and attending conferences. If you think God is calling you to share your writing through publication, you'll want to learn more and get a knowledgeable support/critique group.

Rodney: I gather inspiration from reading other books - the Bible included, praying for clarity, and… listening to people talk in all realms of life…. God uses people, places, and things to speak to me.

TK: I settle my spirit and await further instructions. Before writing I commune with the Lord for the direction and purpose of that particular project. All of my books can be the essence of the divine scriptures with one or two in particular. As a Christian fictional author, I utilize my experiences to help create a fictitious reality with a subliminal gospel message.

Barbara: I've only written one book, and that took me 17 years…. Much prayer precedes everything. Then I wait. I pray again. I start typing whatever comes out. I walk around. Pray some more. Cry, if needed. Moan. Perhaps start over. I go through this because I am afraid to write something that He would disapprove. Sigh.

Ashley: Lately, God has been asking me to write on some topics/issues I'm not 100% wanting to write about and I often find myself going back and forth before writing it. However, when we obey, it's very rewarding. (Also) I think reading the Word is very important for Christian writers. How can we teach and share the Word if we don't know it?

Linda: Please don't let fear of God's or anyone's disapproval deter you. Think of God as your writing partner, your co-creator, your collaborator, not as the divine writing judge. Go ahead and write whatever comes into your head that you know to be true to your experience of Him. Then the Holy Spirit can guide you to edit it. Maybe in that process you'll end up with something very different from what you started with. That's okay! That's the Holy Spirit at work. I think never trying would disappoint the Lord more than the poorest quality work, because he has someone waiting to be touched by what He wants to say through you.

Even for us Christian writers, inspiration is just the start. You have to be willing to do the work. Accept knowledgeable critique humbly; remember, your words aren't sacred scripture that can never be revised. Be patient when it takes more time and effort than you thought. And leave the outcome …to God's intention and timing without comparing your success to anyone else's… If you accomplish the Lord's plan for your work, you are a SUCCESS, even if you never sell a single book!

Connie: I don't think I have what it takes to write, for I am my worse critic. I pray for encouragement and boldness. I am not one who feels the need to write all the time, (and so) with that, I feel I must not be a true writer.

Linda: I just took up writing again after years of doing God's will in other ways. Does that stop me from being a "true" writer. No! No! and No! Be a writer who is true to the Lord's calling…. You can do it!

Connie: Thank you Linda, for your words of encouragement. I want to please the Lord in all that I do. Thank you.

Eileen: Pray first. (I) ask God for the story concept He wants me to present. Then I quiet my mind so the ideas can begin to form. When ideas come, I mull them over for a few weeks, arranging and rearranging the plot in my mind before my fingers hit the keys or the notebook. Then off I go, developing an outline/scenes, one-liner, two-paragraph summary, etc. After that, the actual writing begins.

Joyce: I spend a lot of time in God's Word and prayer. I have found if I do not allow God to fill me, I have nothing of spiritual significance to write.

Christine: Pray.

Mary: You all are mentioning what I believe is most important too: Praying, listening to God, and studying the Bible. But what about studying your craft, experimenting with forms, playing with words, and reading poems, stories, articles, essays, books, etc. in the same genre you want to write? How important are those to you?

Joyce: I believe that whatever we do for the LORD should be done skillfully. Studying our craft and reading books written by successful authors, studying marketing skills, and belonging to a writer's group are a few of the ways I try to improve – after I have prayed and studied the Word of God, of course. I am also a songwriter and have bitten my tongue on more than one occasion as I heard a songwriter say "God, gave it to me this way and I'm not changing it!"…I'm afraid Christians too often confuse inspiration and perspiration. Excellence takes both.

Michael: Thank you all! This is inspiring me to keep going.

Robin: I have been writing poetry for over 30 years and no one has ever given me encouragement or invited me to join a writers group/attend conferences until this past year. A personal friend and accomplished author read some of my poetry and invited me to do both. I entered my very first writing competition and attended a writers conference... The poem I entered did not place this year… Yet the most exciting thing is that the judge who critiqued my work compared it to Robert Frost! She …said to study his work because I have meter much like his. I love that she said to study and rewrite, rewrite and rewrite and enter the same poem in next year's contest! So to those of you…who are concerned that your writing is not good enough or that you don't know where to begin, may I offer this bit of advice and encouragement: DO NOT GIVE UP! Stay teachable, flexible….

Brian: Some poems bubble out with little immediate preparations. Others are based on study and thinking. Some are motivated by my experience or reaction to events, and some were written to influence or persuade….Some poems are the result of hard work on the theme of the poem or the poetics -- structure, meter, and rhythm.

Anita: Pray, read, go to writing conferences, meditate on the Word of God!

Barbara: As I pray and study, I listen to Christian music or fellowship with friends on the things of God, (then) thoughts, phrases, visions, and inspiration sometimes floods my being…. Descriptive Words formulate and begin to flow like water.

Rodney: For me and some of us…, it's a difficult assignment to be able to hear from God …or speak words of life, listen clearly to the Spirit, and work diligently and effectively where the environment is dysfunctional…. Clear this space for Jesus!

Mary: Yes. Writing what God has given us to write needs to be a top priority even when it's hard and we have to let some things go until later…. For freelance writers in general, the biggest obstacle is not writing! When I began freelancing about 30 years ago, I had to establish a routine and find ways to handle – or preferably, avoid – interruptions, and that's still true even now. As with any job, my family comes first, but otherwise, I go to work every day at my desk at home.

Judy: Pray daily seeking His will! (Also) I have been to…writer conferences through the years, learning from some of the best Christian editors and publishers. And, I enjoy this group!

Songaye: (My preparation for writing involves) praying, reading, writing, praying for wisdom and guidance, rereading, rewriting, praying….

Nellie: I get very calm and quiet. I open my iPad and start typing. If I start feeling an agitation, I take a deep breath and ask God to give me a clear mind and calm spirit.

Robin: I agree 100%. I am listening and learning – implementing things I learn from people in this group. And I agree with Judy. This… is a wonderful and very enjoyable group of people to learn from and grow as a writer!

Annie: Oh, my wonderful sisters and brothers, I enjoyed everything each one of you had to say. It was simply enriching. Why? God deals differently with each one of us and we get the assignment done according to His plan and will and He gets the Glory!

Linda: How wonderful that the Lord works within each of us in a unique fashion! Each is valid for that individual.

Mamie: You may not know you're called until you actually began to write naturally. I noticed I started that way--writing technically first, and then many other kinds of writings afterwards. Finally, I began to write poems and fiction about 20 years ago. So, you may not start out writing the things God has called you to write, but one thing is sure. You will start out writing little by little with the anointing of the Lord, writing something that pertains to the divine things of God.

Linda: I cut my teeth on technical writing, too. I figure that was all part of the call, because I was storing up skills and observations for the day when the Lord invited me to write for Him instead of an employer. Drama scripts and hymns are a far cry from training materials and case analysis documents, but it was all grist for the mental mill.

Miisrael: I believe true preparation for writing what God has for me is with trust and obedience to God. He gives me what to write. With trust He guides, with trust He delivers, with trust He directs (my) writings with the Word. All the trust I have (comes) with dedication and the commitment of loving Him. With obedience I become united with Him.

Mary: Thank you all for your responses! Not only have your words blessed one another, your thoughts will help other communicators for Christ who stop by here to read. May God continue to guide and empower each of us to write as we’ve been called in Jesus’ Name.



© 2014 Mary Harwell Sayler placed 26 books in all genres with Christian and educational publishers then wrote the Christian Writer's Guide e-book, the Poetry Dictionary For Children and For Fun e-book, and the Christian Poet's Guide to Writing Poetry e-book on Kindle. She also founded the Christian Poets & Writers group on Facebook where this discussion began.

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