What did that compliment do to you?

 

Assuming we have no ulterior motive, such as buttering up or trying to manipulate someone, a compliment can a lift a person’s spirits. However, it can also have a negative effect.

 

At the risk of making you (and me!) afraid to ever say anything nice to anyone again, I’ve been pondering the subject and remembering what helped me and what did not. I hope you’ll share your thoughts in the Comments section below. Meanwhile, here’s what came to me.

 

A compliment can encourage.

 

The pastor-leader of a discussion group once asked us to tell each other something we might not be aware of otherwise. One woman looked at me and said, “You have a lovely smile.” Since my sweet-spirited dad did, it pleased me to know I might have received that from him, and so the compliment encouraged me to smile more.

 

When a compliment is obviously meant to be supportive, we can take that word to heart, thanking the person – and thanking God for lifting our spirits and/or guiding us in a particular direction.

 

A compliment can discourage.

 

The person giving a compliment might be appalled to know this, but a negative result can come in self-consciousness! This often happens when we compliment a person’s looks, rather than a well-chosen outfit or skin-flattering choice of colors.

 

Unfortunately, I did this recently when I told a friend she looked elegant. She did, but I wish I’d been more specific and told her how a particular, upswept hairstyle makes her look elegant. Then it would be her choice or decision as to whether she felt up to elegance that day!

 

Similarly, poets, writers, and other artistic people might wonder, “Will I ever create anything as good?” or “Will people like my next work as well?” Book reviews, positive Comments on a blog, or a simple “Like” for a post can provide the timely encouragement that person needed.

 

A compliment can provide an opening to praise!

 

Whether a compliment focuses on what we did, how we look, or what gifts and abilities we have, we can thank the person for the acknowledgement and give credit to God. For example: if someone says, “Your (poem, painting, sermon ___ fill in the blank) meant a lot to me,” we can accept that good word yet get the focus off of our self-conscious selves by praising the Lord and thanking the person for letting us know.

 

Hmm. I just realized that one of my favorite prayers since childhood can be applied to this discussion, which I hope you will join in the Comments below!

 

“Let the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer,” Psalm 19:14.

 

What we say (words of the mouth) and how we receive what someone else says (meditations of my heart) can find anchor in the Rock and, when needed, be redeemed by our Father God Who rescues us, even from ourselves.

 

©2021, Mary Harwell Sayler

 

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Offering God our PRAISE!

 

As negative, worrisome news pummels our ears, the last thing we might feel like doing is praise! But that’s the very reason the Bible encourages us to “offer to God a sacrifice of praise.”

“Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise—the fruit of lips that openly profess his name,” Hebrews 13:15, New International Version (NIV.)

Some time ago, I asked, “Is there something You want me to do, Lord?” and, immediately, the word “Praise” came to mind. Having been raised in a polite Christian family, the inclination to thank God and people came easily enough, but praise? Frankly, I wasn’t sure I knew what praising God truly meant – or at least how it differed from thanksgiving.

After looking up several dictionary definitions, I saw praise as expressing approval more than the appreciation shown in giving thanks. Praise  commends, lauds, and says good things – not with gratitude in mind so much as acknowledgement, commendation, and re-commendation. Or, to say it another way, praise focuses on Who God Is, more than what God does. Praise pours out our love to the Lord.

The Psalms provide wonderful examples of ways to praise, pray, thank God – and lament. A closer than usual study of those priceless poems shows that almost all of the lamentations begin with a concern or complaint but end with purposeful thanks or praise. That uplift at the end exemplifies a strong faith in God, despite the circumstances, and also shows how a poured-out-heart must remain completely honest and wholly vulnerable.

Ready to praise but not particularly practiced, I immediately sensed God’s help as relevant thoughts and phrases caught my attention each morning. Once I had typed those beginning lines in a computer file, other thoughts and lines swiftly followed – somewhat like a stream-of-consciousness flow, but more “subconscious” or even “unconscious” of what might come next.

Spontaneity remained key–often with a phrase that startled me or an insight God gave in thoughts I’d never had before the poem gained my attention. So my “method” became an intent to obey, rather than create, as I wrote down each spontaneous thought or phrase with the anticipation that the rest of the words would freely follow. Usually they did, sometimes even exploding onto the page. Other times they seemed more reflective, depending, perhaps, on my mood or something God wanted me to consider as I wrote to discover what the lines had to say. For instance:

Praise God our Praise

without Whom
there is none:

no cause for joy,
no source of love,
no hope of peace.

Praise God Who Dwells
in us and around us –
enthroned on our praises
– uplifting our days.

 

Maybe you’ll prefer to call such poems“ meditations.” Maybe you’ll see them as prayers. Or maybe, as you offer up your praises to God, you’ll be stunned by the unexpected thoughts and ragged edges that come to mind. Write them down – especially if you don’t feel like it!

Praise God, the Rock

under Whom I crawl
when I feel low,
the Rock I climb
to get a higher view.

May the Lord bless you and your life of purposeful praise, whether joyful or sacrificial.

 

Mary Harwell Sayler

Note: The above poems and text came from the introduction to my book PRAISE! published by Cladach Publishing.

 

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