Life and Grief at Christmas

Last year, my husband passed away a couple of weeks before Thanksgiving. Yet I felt thankful that we’d had decades together. Thankful, too, that he no longer suffered and that, thanks to Hospice and the grace of God, he was able to stay home.

A few years earlier, my older sister endured months of chemotherapy with a positive attitude and a strong determination to make it at least until Christmas. She did. With all three of her grown children around her, she lived through Christmas day then passed away just before midnight.

Later, someone asked if that would mar the holidays for our family forever, but no. We rejoiced in God’s grace that granted her final request.

We know we’ll see our loved ones again, but still we grieve. Countless others do too, and for many, the losses seem especially hard during the holidays. If that’s true for you, I pray the things that helped me will comfort you too.

God’s Word brings comfort.

Isaiah 53:3 prophesied what Jesus would one day endure, which reminds us that the Lord understands. “He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief,” King James Version (KJV.)

With the wisdom of God and His human experiences, Jesus knew what He was talking about when He said, “Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted,” Matthew 5:4, KJV.

The Apostle Peter also understood grief and wrote, “After you have suffered for a while, the God of all grace Who called you to His eternal glory in Christ will restore, confirm, strengthen, and settle you. To Him belongs power forever. Amen,” 1 Peter 5:10-11.

Psalm 30:5 reminds us, “Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning,” KJV.

Writing out our feelings can be comforting.

Grief reaches into
the grave. Pulls up memories.
Waits for God’s comfort.
…

Lord, help us to get
out of this shadow of death
and into Your Light.
…

Weeping lasts the night,
but joy comes through the mourning
when we live in Christ.
...

Prayer brings comfort.

Our Heavenly Father listens and responds to our prayers, even if we only say, “God, help!” The Lord welcomes our spontaneity in talking with Him, and, if we’re too weary for words, His Holy Spirit prays on our behalf.

As Romans 8:216 promises, “The Spirit helps us in our weakness, for we do not know what we should pray for, but the Holy Spirit intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.”

Throughout the Bible, we can find prayers that speak to and for us. For example, this prayer not only expresses what we might feel, it gives us encouragement and hope:

2 Corinthians 1:3–7 – a prayer of Paul
(as paraphrased in the Book of Bible Prayers)

"We praise You, God and Father
of our Lord Jesus Christ – Father
of compassion and God of all
comfort, Who comforts us in all
our troubles, so we can comfort
those in trouble with the comfort
we ourselves have received from
You. For as the sufferings of Christ
comes into our lives, so also the
comfort of Christ pours upon us.

If we suffer distress, let it be used
for the hope of Your people.

If we receive comfort, let it be used
to soothe others, thereby producing
the ability to endure patiently the 
distresses we all suffer.

And so our hope is for Your people
to stand firm, because we know
that, as they share in our trials,
they also share in our relief."

Amen.

Thank you for sharing this space with me and adding what has helped you in the Comments section below.

Now may the Lord bring you comfort, encouragement, hope, and peace in Jesus’ Name.

Have a blessed Christmas and New Year!

 

Breaking with Christmas nostalgia

All of my life, I have loved my family’s tradition of traipsing through the woods to cut and decorate a real tree that filled our home with the fragrance of evergreen. Strings of lights wrapped warm colors around the branches and a wealth of ornaments (each with a story) dangled in the glow. In the shade beneath the tree, carefully chosen gifts gradually appeared, while carols played on the radio.

For many years, I’ve truly enjoyed that tradition. But this year, after I’d recorded, briefly watched, and deleted “Christmas specials” on television, the false gaiety made me sad as one show after another was neither special nor relevant to the annual mass for Christ – The One for Whom this holy day is named.

Even Santa Claus aka Saint Nicholas (an actual Christian Bishop in the fourth century) doesn’t seem to get top billing, but uniformly decorated trees grow on every channel as do commercials that bulge -- bigger and bolder every day.

And so this year, we set aside the fake tree and boxed ornaments in favor of a nativity set with large ceramic figures placed in or around a wooden stable with non-carnivorous animals alongside the scene.  The set sits on a wooden bench in our living room with colorful gifts placed way off to the side to keep the focus where it belongs.

What a difference this change of emphasis makes! Instead of walking through the room, wondering if I’d forgotten anyone or worrying about whether they’ll like the gifts I bought, I see the beautiful reminder of that first holy night when Jesus Christ was born.

May we never forget Christ in Christmas.

MaryHarwell Sayler, ©2019

…

Joy to the world!

Oh, come! Let us celebrate
the birth of the Christ-Child
Who rejoices at our rebirth.

The Holy Infant Jesus –
dependent
on us for His care –
shows us
how we must
come to Him
like trusting children.

Hold Him on your lap
with love,
and let Him hug you,
heal you,
and hum a lullaby.

by Mary Harwell Sayler, ©2017, from the poetry book PRAISE!

Joy to the World

If you have heard the Christmas story your whole life, as I have, you might think, as I did, that you have considered almost every aspect of the Nativity. Nevertheless, I requested a review copy of the new book, Joy to the World: How Christ’s Coming Changed Everything (And Still Does), published by Image books. I figured that if anyone would have new insights or a fresh perspective into this vital, 2,000-year old story, it would be Bible scholar, Christian author, former pastor, Catholic theologian, and university professor Scott Hahn.

From the first chapter “A Light Goes On in Bethlehem,” we receive this insightful light:

“The Christmas story has an unconventional hero – not a warrior, not a worldly conqueror, not an individual at all, but rather a family…. We see the swaddling bands and know they’re for a baby, but someone had to do the swaddling…. We hear tell of the manger-crib where he lay, but someone needed to place him there…. The family is the key to Christmas. The family is the key to Christianity....

That, indeed, is one of the most profound implications of the Christmas story: that God had made his dwelling place among men, women, and children, and he called them – he calls us – to become his family, his holy household.”

Today, many people have no family. Many, including children in this country, have no home. They’re homeless, lonely, and alone.

“Without Christ, the world was a joyless place; and anyplace where he remains unknown and unaccepted is a joyless place. Everything has changed since Christ’s birth, but everything remains to be changed, as people come to receive the child in faith.”

With the joy of Christ in the world, no one needs to be without home or family. In the church, we can find loving, forgiving fellowship with one another as the Family of God. We can be grafted into Jesus’ family tree.

As Dr. Hahn points out, “The New Testament begins not with a discourse or a prophecy, not with theology or law, but with a simple declaration of family relationships.”

So the book of Matthew begins with a genealogy or, in Greek, a geneseos, which gives the root for genes, genetics, genomes, or generations and can be translated as “beginning” or “origin.” Therefore, “…the evangelist was suggesting a new Genesis, an account of the new creation brought about by Jesus Christ.” Likewise, “In the fourth Gospel, Saint John accomplishes something similar when he begins by echoing the first words of the Torah: ‘In the beginning’.”

In the book of Luke, we get Mary’s perspective and Jesus’ family line going back to Adam to show how Christ came for everyone. Matthew, however, wants to show his Jewish readers how they’re connected to Christ through their family heritage, and so his long list of begats begins with Abraham, the father of the Hebrew people.

“As the roll draws to its close, however, it identifies Joseph not as a father, but as ‘the husband of Mary, of whom Jesus was born who is called Christ’.” Dr. Hahn goes on to say, this “final link breaks with the preceding pattern. Joseph is not called father, but spouse. The evangelist wants to be perfectly clear that Joseph had no biological role to play in the conception of Jesus.”

When time came for the infant to be born, what a birth announcement! One angel visited the shepherds, as messengers from God often did in Old Testament Times, calming fears and announcing Good News. But this time, a multitude of heavenly hosts then appeared, singing “Glory to God in the highest,” and lighting up the whole sky with angels!

Later, when the magi visited the Holy Family, Matthew 2:10 reports, “When they saw the star, they rejoiced exceedingly with great joy.” Dr. Hahn then asks us to “linger on that single line. For it captures the very moment when God gave ‘Joy to the World’ – not merely to Israel, but to the whole world: the nations, the foreigners, the Gentiles.”

In the Family of God, the church Body of Christ, love holds us together, and joy radiates from the center. Or, as Dr. Hahn says:

“If we truly celebrate Christmas, we’ll exude a joy that people will want to share.”

To be realistic, though, “there are those who would steal our joy by trying to steal our Christmas – by snickering at the lot of it: the Trinity, the virginal conception, the incarnation, the shepherds. How should we respond? By inviting them to the feast. By enjoying the feast ourselves, and by enjoying it for all of its infinite worth.”

Amen!

May your Christ-mass be filled with love and overflow with joy, joy, joy in Jesus’ Name.


©2014, Mary Harwell Sayler is an ecumenical Christian poet, writer, and lifelong lover of Christ, the Bible, and the church in all its parts.


Note from Mary: I received this book from Blogging for Books for this review, but you can order it from Amazon.

Joy to the World: How Christ’s Coming Changed Everything (And Still Does), hardback



…

Reflecting God’s Light in what we write

Christmas and Hanukah bring Holy Days of Light to Christians and Jews, but depression and desperation often come this time of year to lonely people who do not know God. As poets and writers who do know God and the Word of God given to us through the Holy Scriptures and Holy Spirit, God gives us light to bear and light to share.

As Isaiah 49:6 promises: “You will do more than restore the people of Israel to Me. I (God) will make you a Light to the nations to bring My salvation to all the peoples of the earth.”

Sometimes the word “salvation” is used so often it seems dull, but in God’s Light we see light. To re-view what the Bible shows:

Salvation offers a way of escape from bad habits and attitudes that seize and entrap.

Salvation rescues people from mistakes hanging over their heads like dead mistletoe.

Salvation delivers people from the presence of evil, bad will, and unforgiveness.

Salvation recovers who and what was lost.

Salvation brings salve and healing, wrapping us in love and offering our writing as a gift in the present as a present from God.

Only God can save. Only God is Light and gives Light to all who want to step away from dark corners or dark thoughts lurking around, threatening to overshadow. But, as poets and writers and people of God, we have brightness!

We are Christmas lights and Hanukah candles.

Our poems and manuscripts can bring all that God gives us to give to others – giving and giving yet having more and more to hold onto and keep.

Let's pray to remember, though, that reflecting the Light requires reflection.

Let's pray to remember that part of the Light is being light, and our part may be to have and to hold a light touch, levity, and humor.

Only God can put ho-ho into Holy Days – not with zaniness or phony attempts to be jolly but with the true, pure light of joy. So let's pray for joy. Pray for light. Pray for daily reflection on the Light of Christ and the Joy of Salvation as we reflect our loving Heavenly Father -- the Almighty LORD God to the world.

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© 2011, Mary Harwell Sayler, all rights reserved.

http://www.marysayler.com

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