Life and Grief at Christmas

Last year, my husband passed away a couple of weeks before Thanksgiving. Yet I felt thankful that we’d had decades together. Thankful, too, that he no longer suffered and that, thanks to Hospice and the grace of God, he was able to stay home.

A few years earlier, my older sister endured months of chemotherapy with a positive attitude and a strong determination to make it at least until Christmas. She did. With all three of her grown children around her, she lived through Christmas day then passed away just before midnight.

Later, someone asked if that would mar the holidays for our family forever, but no. We rejoiced in God’s grace that granted her final request.

We know we’ll see our loved ones again, but still we grieve. Countless others do too, and for many, the losses seem especially hard during the holidays. If that’s true for you, I pray the things that helped me will comfort you too.

God’s Word brings comfort.

Isaiah 53:3 prophesied what Jesus would one day endure, which reminds us that the Lord understands. “He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief,” King James Version (KJV.)

With the wisdom of God and His human experiences, Jesus knew what He was talking about when He said, “Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted,” Matthew 5:4, KJV.

The Apostle Peter also understood grief and wrote, “After you have suffered for a while, the God of all grace Who called you to His eternal glory in Christ will restore, confirm, strengthen, and settle you. To Him belongs power forever. Amen,” 1 Peter 5:10-11.

Psalm 30:5 reminds us, “Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning,” KJV.

Writing out our feelings can be comforting.

Grief reaches into
the grave. Pulls up memories.
Waits for God’s comfort.
…

Lord, help us to get
out of this shadow of death
and into Your Light.
…

Weeping lasts the night,
but joy comes through the mourning
when we live in Christ.
...

Prayer brings comfort.

Our Heavenly Father listens and responds to our prayers, even if we only say, “God, help!” The Lord welcomes our spontaneity in talking with Him, and, if we’re too weary for words, His Holy Spirit prays on our behalf.

As Romans 8:216 promises, “The Spirit helps us in our weakness, for we do not know what we should pray for, but the Holy Spirit intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.”

Throughout the Bible, we can find prayers that speak to and for us. For example, this prayer not only expresses what we might feel, it gives us encouragement and hope:

2 Corinthians 1:3–7 – a prayer of Paul
(as paraphrased in the Book of Bible Prayers)

"We praise You, God and Father
of our Lord Jesus Christ – Father
of compassion and God of all
comfort, Who comforts us in all
our troubles, so we can comfort
those in trouble with the comfort
we ourselves have received from
You. For as the sufferings of Christ
comes into our lives, so also the
comfort of Christ pours upon us.

If we suffer distress, let it be used
for the hope of Your people.

If we receive comfort, let it be used
to soothe others, thereby producing
the ability to endure patiently the 
distresses we all suffer.

And so our hope is for Your people
to stand firm, because we know
that, as they share in our trials,
they also share in our relief."

Amen.

Thank you for sharing this space with me and adding what has helped you in the Comments section below.

Now may the Lord bring you comfort, encouragement, hope, and peace in Jesus’ Name.

Have a blessed Christmas and New Year!

 

What parents do NOT want to see in books for children

On a social media site, someone asked what parents had tired of seeing in children’s books, and the response was overwhelming! Since parents are the primary book-buyers and readers of books for kids, their voices need to be heard and heeded by those of us who write for young readers.

Here’s what parents consistently dislike:

Rhyming books with no sense of rhythm or musicality

Text and illustrations created by AI

Dark pictures and dark-on-dark text

Books about eliminating body wastes

Text scattered around the page instead of moving left to right

Glittery books without interesting content

Fantasy stories with no depth of characters 

Didactic stories that lecture

Books that are hard to read aloud

Dialogue that identifies speakers at the end, instead of up front

Formulaic books that follow the same story patterns

Stereotypes i.e., boys hating school, girls loving it

Stories that bad-mouth parents, teachers, or anyone!

Books that condescend

Books with incorrect information

Books intending to be playful but only confuse a child

Stories spreading fear of wildlife or...

Stories showing wild animals as cuddly friends

Characters with disabilities who have magic powers to compensate

Stories that are boring, sarcastic, unrealistic, or weird

Stories that put-down anything from veggies to ethnic groups

Books written by celebrities who don’t really know kids

Children’s classics retold with changes in the story or characters

 

Did this list include your pet peeves? If not, feel free to add what you don't like to see in books for children in the Comments Section below this post. Thanks.

Mary Harwell Sayler, lover of kids and books for children 

 

 

 

 

What’s in a Name?

 

Growing up in Tennessee, people usually called me “MAY-ree.” When we lived in Virginia, almost everyone said, “Murray.” Now, having lived in Florida most of my life, I typically hear “Merry,” which I like the sound of, or “Marry,” which fit well during my decades of marriage until my husband’s death a year ago today.

In the Bible, after her husband and sons had died, Naomi said to call her “Mara,” which means bitter. (See Ruth 1:20.)

Centuries later when the young Mary gave birth to her Son Jesus, she said,“from now on all generations will call me blessed for the Mighty One has done great things for me, and Holy is His Name,” Luke 1:48-49. With those words Mary acknowledged and named the Holy One as The Giver of Blessings and, herself, as blessed.

Now, two thousand years after that first Christmas, Christians continue to pray in the Name of Jesus, expressing our agreement with the will of God – the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

When God Himself named someone, the name typically defined a very specific purpose or direction the Lord wanted that person to take. For example, in Hebrew, Abraham means “the father of many,” while the name Sarah means “princess." Together those two names foreshadow the countless people who descended from that royal line ordained by God.

The priest Zechariah named his son John since the angel Gabriel told him to and because it means “God’s gracious gift,” which he surely was – not only because an elderly couple bore him but because he had work to do to prepare the way for his slightly younger cousin, Jesus, by calling people to repentance and baptizing them in the River Jordan.

Names give us the power to call others to come, and if they respond, so much the better! God Himself surely thinks so, too, for as He said in Isaiah 43:1, “I have called you by your name. You are Mine.” That single verse gives us plenty to praise God for and to write about in poetry, nonfiction, and fiction.

If you prefer to write fiction – short stories or novels – just remember to check out the meaning of each name you select. (I still refer to a book on naming babies I’ve had forever.) These choices will help you to develop a character in line with his or her name as the Lord did in naming Jesus, which means "YHWH is salvation." 

And remember, God named Himself “YHWH,” which, in Hebrew, means “I AM,” indicating His eternal self as alive and living in the past, present, and future. 

As you proceed to plan out your story, make sure every character, whether the protagonist (main story person), antagonist (the adversary or opponent), and incidental characters have initials unique to them. When I devoured Russian novels in my teen years, I had a terrible time following each character because it seemed like everyone, male or female, had a name beginning with “K."

Be assured, the Eternal I AM is with you now, guiding your work and calling you by the name to which He has called you – Christian writer and, always, blessed.

 

Mary Harwell Sayler

Writing with the Promises of God

Our writings in almost any genre will stay on track and be more powerful with a theme and purpose we believe to be important. As Christians, that purpose often stems from our desire to spread the Good News of the Gospel and to encourage readers in their faith.

To find a purposeful theme, we can look to God’s word and, specifically, God’s promises. For example, I’ve developed entire stories from Romans 8:28, “And we know God will work all things for the good of those who are called according to His purpose.”

With that Bible promise in mind, a novel can develop as the main character faces hard times until the last chapter when a change of circumstances or an insightful resolution brings something unexpected and wonderful.

Whether you write fiction, nonfiction, or poetry, your favorite Bible promises provide themes for your work too.

I wanted to know more about those promises because it seemed to me they offered the key to praying in God’s will. So I researched hundreds of Bible promises, then compiled them into the book, Kneeling on the Promises of God, with a brief prayer as an example guided by each verse.

Since I also wanted to know what promises mean the most to others, I searched online and asked a group of Christians to share their favorites. Not surprisingly, John 3:16 (and 17) rate the highest:

“For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life. For God sent not His Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through Him might be saved,” “John 3:16-17, King James Version (KJV)

After John 3:16, the most often prayed promise comes from Jeremiah 29:11, “"For I know the plans I have for you,’ says the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a future and a hope’."

Other Christians gain hope from Matthew 6:33: ^“Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.”
 

Although I haven’t written about this, John 10:29 has encouraged me greatly when I start to worry about loved ones who have drawn far away from the Lord. As Jesus promised, “My Father, Who gave them to Me, is greater than all! No one can snatch them out of the Father’s hand.”

And when we ourselves drift too far, Jesus reminds us, “Lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the world,” Matthew 28:20.

With hundreds of Bible promises to choose from, you have themes to last a lifetime of writing! May God guide your choices and your writing life in Christ.

 

Mary Harwell Sayler
who thanks God for promises never broken