5 common mistakes in writing nonfiction for kids

For a couple of decades, I read entries in the children’s literature category of an international writing contest. Each year, I hoped to find well-written nonfiction articles and interesting book chapters excerpted from dynamic nonfiction. Sometimes I did, and sometimes manuscripts looked promising, but many suffered from these 5 common flaws:

1. In an obvious effort to be fresh and lively, writers often started their nonfiction for children with scenes straight out of a novel. For example, they might begin with dialogue, a problem, a child’s thoughts, or an amusing conversation that read like the opening of a sit-com. Often, a main character asked a grandparent about a subject soon to be addressed but, unfortunately, not nearly soon enough. These novel openings sounded good at first but quickly brought confusion, especially since readers did not know what the subject actually was unless they read an entire page or two or three.

2. Another problem arose with credibility and accuracy – or lack thereof. With no bibliography to cite sources at the end of a manuscript, I couldn't tell if the author had spent weeks searching, sorting, and sifting through reliable information or merely passed along opinions and assumptions as fact.

3. A more common flaw occurred in the quality of writing. For example, the use of passive voice seemed particularly prevalent with phrase after phrase stating, “It is” or “There was.” Such a passive voice seemed to speak for a passive writer, who did not take just a little more time to search for active verbs and strong nouns that readers could readily picture.

4. Speaking of pictures, young readers need to be able to envision what they’re reading whether the pages contain illustrations or not. For the writing to be clear, each sentence usually needs an easy-to-picture noun that brings to mind a person, place, or thing, but not a vague idea. An active verb can then put that noun into motion. If a nonfiction manuscript happened to be the text for a children’s picture book, the mental images on every page became vital or, voila, no picture book.

5. That seems obvious, but, fortunately, so do some solutions to each of the problems mentioned. Most writers have fine minds and can figure these things out for themselves once they recognize a problem or even know to look for one. Often, though, writers got caught up in stories they couldn't wait to share with their children or grandchildren, forgetting kids of all ages have their own interests and preferences, and are waiting for the next enticing subject to connect with and enjoy.

©2015, Mary Harwell Sayler
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Writing Winner Nonfiction For Kids

Each year I judged entries in the children’s literature category of an international writing contest I kept hoping to find well-written nonfiction articles or interesting chapters excerpted from dynamic nonfiction books. Some actually did arrive, while others seem promising before descending into a central set of flaws.

In an obvious effort to be fresh and lively, many writers started their nonfiction for children with scenes from a novel. For example, they might begin with dialogue, a problem, a child’s thoughts, or an amusing conversation that reads like the opening of a sit-com. Often, a main character asks a grandparent about a subject soon to be addressed but, unfortunately, not nearly soon enough. These novel openings sound good at first but quickly bring confusion since readers will rarely be able to tell what the book is about until they read a page or two or three.

Another problem arises with credibility and accuracy – or the lack thereof. With no bibliography to cite sources at the end of a manuscript, no one knows if the author has spent weeks searching, sorting, and sifting through reliable information or just passed along personal opinions and assumptions as fact.

A more common flaw occurs in the quality of the writing. For instance, passive voice seems particularly prevalent as illustrated by circling phrase after phrase that states, “It is” or “There was.” Such a passive voice usually comes across as a passive writer, who did not take time to search for active verbs and strong nouns that readers can readily picture.

Speaking of pictures, young readers need to be able to envision what they’re reading whether the pages contain illustrations or not. For the writing to be this clear, each sentence usually needs an easy-to-picture noun that brings to mind a person, place, or thing, but not a vague idea. An active verb can then put that noun into motion. If the nonfiction manuscript happens to be the text for a children’s picture book, those mental images on every page become vital or, voila, no picture book.

That seems obvious, but, fortunately, so do solutions to each of the problems mentioned. Most writers have fine minds and can figure these things out for themselves once they recognize a problem or even know to look for one. What often happens, though, is that we get caught up in stories we can’t wait to share with our kids or grandkids, forgetting that children can not follow unless we remember they’re right there beside us, waiting for the next picture, the next thought, the next word they can easily connect with, enjoy, and understand.

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(c) 2010, Mary Harwell Sayler, all rights reserved.



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Writing Children’s Stories With No Pink Fairies Or Old Fads

Each year I judged children’s fiction entered in the international writing contest sponsored by Writers-Editors.com, I often saw the same mistakes. Since the contest was “blind,” I didn’t know who submitted which manuscript, much less the age of the writers, but I suspect that most were very young or very not.

Stories and novel chapters typically sound like they're from young writers when they focus on trends or have fantastic settings with stereotyped characters who aspire, not to replacing Harry Potter, but to being him. I saw a lot of fairy tales with little pink fairies flying around too, but nothing to entice readers to follow them into (oh, please) Never (again) Land.

Whether sweet little stories or scary, fantasy fiction often has predictable people or plots. If writers do try something new, they’re apt to forget that young readers cannot always follow their sudden flights into a heightened vocabulary, including made-up words with which any earthling would say "What?"

Inappropriate vocabulary does not affect futuristic manuscripts only though. It’s also a problem in the “good ole day” stories where children-in-the-now do not know slang words or references to fads of a half-century ago. If such outdated words or phrases have real significance in a story, the context can help to explain, but too much of this will tuck resistant readers into an early nap.

Like most writers, older people want to tell their tales as a means of recording memories, working through old wounds, or validating their lives. That’s wonderfully healing and very appropriate in a journal, diary, or family album, but these stories seldom have anything to do with the young stranger on the other side of a page.

Relaying your own story has another potential hazard, too, since such manuscripts often go on way too long. What started out as a good idea can quickly bog down in details, descriptions, or rambling events that weaken the overall story. A true episode may be hard to cut, but what interests the writer can be too much for a restless child reader to sit still and hear.

One way to know whether you’ve fallen into this common trap is to ask if your story has a specific theme and purpose. If not, the pages may be a series of events loosely linked by the characters or setting. All is not lost though! As you revise your fiction for children, these tips might help:

• Focus on a particular child or group of children you know within your chosen age group.
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• Revise or rewrite your story with those specific faces in mind.
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• Look for a relevant theme to guide your revisions. For example, omit episodes that do not help either to enforce or to oppose your theme.
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• Begin the story with the main character identifying, clarifying, and/ or working toward resolving the main problem.
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• Consistently stay in the viewpoint of that character.
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• Without going back and forth, let the plot unfold as the story happens.
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• Remove long descriptions that hinder the story's movement.
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• Use a variety of sentence structures and lengths for older readers, but shorten long sentences in stories for young kids.
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• Avoid slang, archaic phrases, and words outside a present-day child's vocabulary.
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• Let context clarify the meaning of new or unusual words. If a word is key to the story, use it right away and, if need be, include a definition.
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• With the possible exception of an occasional crank or crackpot, portray adults in a positive light with no demeaning statements about law enforcement officers, teachers, parents, or grandparents.
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• Avoid biases and bigotry of all kinds.
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• Avoid lopsided viewpoints and unbalanced information. Make sure you have intelligent, caring people on both sides of the story.
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• Remember the adage: "Show. Don’t tell." Let your well-chosen characters care enough to act in character and resolve -- or accept -- the story's problem by The End.

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(c) 2010, Mary Harwell Sayler 

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